I have left the big, bountiful valley that I call home, crawling through the city in my fossil fuel dependent vehicle of steel and plastic, CBC radio loud and strong, a discussion of the steady decline of wild animals on our planet, my disconnect from masses of humans now fully intact, the evidence of overconsumption, lack of green space, endless concrete making it all a sobering reality. It’s grey and pouring, a river flowing down Lonsdale from the sudden torrent of water, elbow to elbow at a sushi restaurant, the waitress won’t look me in the eye in the mad bustle to keep up with the incessant demand, in the stream of abundant raw fish displays and steaming rice. My heart is breaking, Vancouver is my birthplace, 3 generations of my ancestors moved here from various parts of Europe, how can I feel so un-rooted here? I have never felt like I belonged here and I ran from the city when I turned 21 in search of a smaller, more connected life to the earth.
I feel sick that I am one of many fighting for a place in traffic, feel selfish in my solo quest to travel on this land burning so many fossil fuels to reach my destination. In the valley I came across a murder of Ravens scavenging ; on the sea to sky highway I stopped
to look at the ocean and saw a murder of Ravens picking at the roadside garbage, tearing at plastic bags.
I am waiting to catch the ferry and I have a spontaneous discussion with a stranger about the overwhelming helplessness of the state humans have placed our environment. He reveals that he has unplugged from most media and news sources as it is all so depressing, the barista behind the bar making my Buddha organic smoothy pipes up that my “cup is biodegradable! If that helps..?”. I smile, cause in a small weird way, it does. We are capable of so many horrific, tragic, soul-less selfish acts and so fiercely loving, hopeful, inspiring, heart breakingly beautiful, insightful… all in one breath.
How do I live my life? I am in so many ways part of the problem. There are a million large and small ways I can do more, with less. I own a car, things I purchase are wrapped in plastic, I am not off grid, I kill to eat; fish, venison, grouse; everything I do has an impact. how can it ever be enough? How can any of us ever repay the generous nature and abundance of Mother Earth in all her ways?
I am madly inspired by her, walk in gratitude every single day for the raw beauty that surrounds me. I hope my products mirror my beliefs, my love of nature. I hope the wild plants inspire you, to learn more, to reconnect to the earth, to be mindful of her blessings, what she has to offer, how much we have to lose…I make a promise to myself, to all of us, that I will do more. Starting with myself, I am going to try heal the ways I hurt myself, reign in the urge of over consume, to plant seeds, grow more, give more and take less.
Blessings and in gratitude,